Sitter or Guide?

Another interesting conversation with my wife… 

She is revising her “guide manual,” directed toward outlining the methods of guiding psychedelic sessions in the research setting. 

She wrote the first one in 2014, for our work with guiding volunteers in a safety and pharmacokinetics study of psilocybin. 

Now she is revising the manual in light of the newer publications and expanded knowledge that has unfolded in the past 4 years. 

The question came up, “Are we guides or sitters?”

Both terms have been used. 

I said ,“I think that from sitter to guide is a continuum… “

When we are sitting, we are doing less… 

We are more “being…” 

We are being present, paying attention to what might be going on in the room.

We are predominantly paying attention to the volunteer, but we are also monitoring what is going on within ourselves, with our co-guide/sitter, and with any other study personnel who may be around. 

The other end of this spectrum is when we are guiding… 

Then we are more active, more “doing…” 

The range of what we do starts early in our interactions with the volunteer.   

The first meeting sets the stage. 

Warmth, friendliness, openness… 

A listening presence...

Many qualities are important… 

We also want to be careful… 

We do not want to be overwhelmingly warm and friendly… 

We start to explore the question of who this this person coming into our study…

What might they need…

And they want to know if they can trust us…

It is a dance… 

We usually have 2-4, several hour, preparatory sessions. 

We instruct them on the details of what may, or may not, happen during sessions. 

We inform them about possible drug effects. 

We practice “safe touch…” 

We practice non-verbal signals, for when they might have difficulty verbalizing during a psychedelic session. 

We ask them many intimate questions, including “what don’t you want us to know about you…” 

We have them practice lying down with headphones, music, and eyeshades… 

Then during a session, we might start out with light conversation as the drug is taking effect. 

As the effects rise, we might suggest that the volunteer lay down with music and eyeshades…

We may be quiet and just being present for many hours…  This is my definition of pure sitting. 

During the session we may attend with water, going to the bathroom, encouraging them to go back to eyeshades and headphones… 

That is mostly sitting with a little guiding. 

Or, there may be a crisis, with screaming and yelling, active movements, groaning and crying… 

Sometimes tears of joy and sometimes of sadness… 

Sometimes speaking about what they are experiencing, or wanting us to take notes… 

Or, they may be resisting the medicine… 

Here we may be doing much more guiding… 

Hand holding, hugging, speaking…

We may have to remind them that they took a medicine… 

This horror or terror will pass… 

We may have to reassure them that their body is safe… 

These medicines are powerful… 

This method of giving psychedelics in this particular set and setting is even more powerful… 

We often need to remind ourselves to do less, be less of a guide… 

Be more of a sitter, being present with whatever arises… 

Wisdom arises independent of our drives to do something… 

Independently of whatever skills we may have in our treasure chest of psychological methods… 

We tend to be a doing society, we have more problems with just being…

Our loving presence is important… 

We also may have to remind ourselves to get out of the way… 

The disclaimer is we are not encouraging illegal activity. 

However, let us all work toward legalization of these sacred medicines… 

These sacred methods of unfolding together in these sets and settings… 

It is not only the volunteer who benefits… 

The sitters/guides, and our whole society, rise up these evolutionary scales… 

Let us all travel there together!

Namaste

Foam Rollers for the Psyche

I love a good metaphor!

Yesterday, Saturday, I had 2 interesting conversations about meditation and psychedelics. 

Strange coincidence, if you believe there are any strange coincidences… 

The first, in the morning, an unexpected call from a friend, older than I, who has been exploring these realms for several years… 

The second conversation was in the evening, planned with my wife, with a young couple who my wife and I had mentored through the CIIS program, and now, have become more friends than mentees… 

They, also, have been exploring these realms for several years. 

In both conversations came up the theme of “resistance.”

Resistance came up as 2 types.

Those of us who seek to rise higher on the evolution of mind, must head the call, otherwise, the call will get louder and louder… 

Resisting the call may manifest as feelings of unhappiness, recurrent dreams, or if not heeded, obscure, or not so obscure, illnesses… 

Loving Star Wars, I resonate with the line “Resistance is futile…”

When the Universe comes knocking, you had better answer… 

There are many boats you can take for personal evolution:

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2014/01/deconstruction-and-reconstruction-of.html

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/04/enlightenment-part-5-final-secret.html

Common boats for further explorations of your personal evolution are meditation and psychedelics. 

This is where we find the second form of resistance, often arising within episodes of meditation practice or within a psychedelic journey… 

Great pain can arise… 

As the ego dissolves…  kicking and screaming…  resisting... 

It can feel as though you are being torn apart…  physically…  as well as emotionally… 

In classic Buddhist teaching, koan practice can lead to a place where you can feel like you are trying to swallow a ball of searing hot iron… 

In the words of Alan Watts, at about 18:30 minutes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT-ughGCuZk

We have either heard of, or personally experienced, episodes of being mired in a filthy stinking swamp, a pit of sh-t, or finding yourself in a dark cave with monsters in every corner, or having your face pressed against a rotating burning hot steel, perhaps being torn apart by birds, or eaten alive by spiders… 

You have to be with the pain, perhaps increase the feeling of pain or nausea, enter your own painful place in your body, embrace the filth of the pit, shine a flashlight into the dark corners, and as Bill Richards taught us, find the monster and enter them through their eyes, then look out through the eyes of the monster, human or otherwise… 

That is what we help do as guides…  Point people toward the pain… 

Be present with them in the pain… 

What you resist will persist… 

So, foam rollers? 

Where did that come from?

I tend to get tight muscles, legs mostly, as do many who indulge in athletic activities… 

I also have an associated recurrent area of right-sided sacroiliac area pain, a site of several long-ago injuries… 

So, this morning I was using a foam roller for my legs and a lacrosse ball for my sacroiliac area

This is a painful experience.   It can bring tears to your eyes…  and groans… 

So why do it? 

Because it is a short painful experience, with great long term benefits… 

Along with my daily exercise routine, rolling helps to avoid long term, all day, leg or back pain… 

During this morning’s painful experience, arose this metaphor… 

Meditation and psychedelic experiences are like a foam roller for your psyche… 

 

Can be terribly painful… 

But, good for you…  long-term…  

From where does this psychic pain arise?

I believe the pain comes from the unconscious… 

The unconscious rising up, needing to be made conscious… 

This is how we evolve… 

This is how we clean out the karma… 

As my wife texted to me (she is in California):  “If we can’t/don’t see it/feel it, the depth or intensity, the fullness of our entirety, we don’t have the choice of letting it go to see what will fill its place!” 

Sometimes we have to empty our cup, to have it filled again… 

I’ve written previously about the varieties of unconscious information:

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-trauma-of-ages-is-healed-by.html

A little amended:

1-Personal unconscious information.  This can include prenatal, perinatal, peer, parent, other authorities, and surgical unconscious information.  Often thought of as traumatic and negative.  But, can be positive unconscious information as well.  

2-Instinctual or Archetypal unconscious information.  Jung wrote of the Archetypes as the “instincts” of humans, I agree with this possibility.  This is information from our genetics, from having a human brain-body structure.  

3-Collective Past and Future unconscious information.   I feel it is important to parse this out from Archetypes.  I don’t have a traditional belief in reincarnation.  However, I believe the Universe is more porous to time, place, and person, than traditional science contends (Heretic!).  

I have personally experienced, as have trusted others I know well, connections to past and future information.  This may include information from other species, maybe even from sentient beings of other worlds or dimensions. 

Remember, this is all non-local information, instantly available… 

(even bigger Heretic!)… 

These practices are all about letting go… 

Letting go of habits and drives that no longer serve us. 

Letting go of shoulds… 

Stop shoulding ourselves… 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201304/stop-shoulding-yourself-death-0

(And what is that “L” doing in there anyway?)

These habits, thoughts, and actions may have been protective for us in the past. 

We may have shoved these into a long black bag, which we drag behind us… 

As Robert Bly writes in Iron John, we must take out this unconscious information from that long black bag and incorporate this information into our everyday existence… 

When we partially or fully dissolve the ego, we have a chance to let go of “that which no longer serves…”     

When the ego pops back together, this ego overcoat may be bit lighter… 

A bit easier to wear… 

And, perhaps, easier to take off, when it is safe to do so… 

And then, when wearing the ego overcoat, it may be a bit easier to walk in the world… 

Helping others, with more compassion… 

Perhaps, more deeply feeling that everyone is doing the best they can… 

And, a reminder…   not everyone needs to meditate… 

Perhaps, even fewer need to use the boat of psychedelics… 

There are dangers… 

Hic sunt dracones… 

Here be Dragons… 

If you feel the drive to evolve, find a trusted guide or teacher! 

 

It is natural to fear the dark, and fear the pain… 

But, the only way forward, is going in and through… 

Getting to the other side… 

Getting to the next shore in your current raft or boat… 

That can be Blissful… 

But do not chase the Bliss

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2015/10/

That doesn’t work any better than resisting the pain… 

Lots to ponder… 

Namaste

We are too Advanced to have Simple Slogans!

Yes, that is my new slogan… 

Reading recently in ”The Week,” how the Democrats do not have a compelling message… 

Compared to the Republicans… 

Who seem to be totally behind the simple, and mostly false, slogans of Drumpf… 

Democrats do not have convincing slogans… 

My contention is… 

You cannot have convincing slogans, when the issues are so complicated…   

There is nothing simple about immigration, racism, our economy, international wars, atrocities, trade… 

We seem to be a country divided in half… 

Actually according to an October 2018 Gallup poll:  

Republicans 28%, Democrats 30%, and Independents 39%.   

This is not much change since 2004…  

And… 

Republicans + Republican leaners 40% and Democrats + Democratic leaners 48%

(2004, 48% and 46%, respectively…)

https://news.gallup.com/poll/15370/party-affiliation.aspx

Yes, Drumpf lost the popular vote, yet is president… 

Blame it on the Electoral College… 

If you want to get into the argument of whether these United States are a Republic or a Democracy, read here:

https://fee.org/articles/democracy-or-republic/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2015/05/13/is-the-united-states-of-america-a-republic-or-a-democracy/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.bc11f042895d

As I have said before “every one is doing the best they can…” 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2016/10/this-most-precious-gift.html

So my slogan:  “We are too Advanced to have Simple Slogans!” 

Is a paradox… 

Truth is best held within paradox… 

So, yes, I believe everyone is doing the best they can… 

That does not mean we cannot change… 

That does not mean we cannot change the world… 

Right here, right now, really what I am trying to do is ---    

 

I am trying to influence each and every one of you to get out there and VOTE!!!!! 

Vote for peace, hope, compassion… 

That is me trying to influence you… 

Without idiot compassion… 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-second-commandment-love-everything_20.html

About 60% of the US population votes in presidential elections, 40% in mid-year elections… 

Way below most European counties… 

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/05/21/u-s-voter-turnout-trails-most-developed-countries/

Step up to the plate people!

Vote! Vote! Vote!

But, only once… 

Namaste

Riding your Genes, Surrendering to Source

I think the conversation with my wife started with, “Are you a slave to your hormones?”

That was in reference to that I seem to be always ready to make love with her. 

I replied, “No, I ride my hormones.”

“So, you are driven by your hormones.”

“No, I ride my hormones.  I desire to make love to you, but only when you are ready.”   

I think the rest of the conversation, after that, continued in my own head. 

Sexual desire can be used as a form of energy. 

I love women. 

I have always said that beautiful women are a dime a dozen… 

Walk down any busy street, outwardly beautiful women are common. 

Now, inwardly beautiful women…  that is a different story. 

One thing that I have observed is the most beautiful women I have met, inwardly and outwardly beautiful, were not always outwardly beautiful. 

Often, early on, growing up, they did not feel beautiful. 

Then when they grew into their outward beauty, they remained inwardly beautiful…    

I read somewhere that when men see a beautiful woman, their brains light up in the same place that lights up when they use cocaine. 

I believe that is true. 

That is a jolt of energy to the brain body… 

The question then arises of what do you do with that energy? 

 

Do you chase that beautiful object? 

Or do you bring that energy back to other things in your life?

You can bring that sexual energy back to your partner. 

You can bring that energy to anything you do. 

I am, mostly, the master of my genetic tendencies. 

If I was not the master, if I was driven and a slave to my hormones, then my actions would be that I would have sex with others without discrimination.  As many do, having sex with whoever is available.   I have never had an affair. 

I sometimes give in to my tendency to buy too many things.  I am future oriented, and I am a Seven on the enneagram.  I fantasize about all the fun I will have with the stuff I buy! 

How do we choose what do with our energy?

Many of us are driven by our genes and hormones…  

Many of us are driven by advertisements and social media... 

Many of us are addicted…   to drugs, shopping, work… 

Sometimes even to exercise and meditation… 

By addiction, I mean that what we spend our time doing is, overall, long-term, not good for us personally, or good for the people around us, or for society in general… 

By addiction, I mean that we are not in control, and we feel that we are drowning… 

Now, there is evidence that we are never really in control… 

Our Egos only think we are in control… 

 

The question is who is in control? 

My argument here is that you can be driven by outward stimuli, that often is not in your best long-term interest… 

Conversely, you can listen to the deep inward wisdom that is present in each of us… 

Yes, each and every one of you has a deep inward wisdom… 

You just have to cut through all the noise… 

For me, I have to get quiet… 

I have to get away from work, social media, my computer, my smart phone, television, and usually even music… 

You do not have to do formal meditation, but that is often a helpful way to start… 

So, in the end, the little “i,” my Ego, is not the Master… 

The big “I,” Source is the Master… 

Learn to listen to your inner wisdom… 

Let life flow…   beautifully… 

Namaste

Response from my wife...

Interesting to consider origins of words: 

Old Norse raptr ‘rafter,’ late Middle English (in the sense ‘beam, rafter’): The verb dates from the late 17th century.

Prior to 19th century Raff (perhaps Scandanavian dialect)= abundance;

In English became "raft"=floating mass

So, how do we get from a single entity, solid and supportive

To Abundance

And then become a floating mass??

I think perhaps all of existence is a floating mass, everything-that-is

In relationship (to other humans, other entities, sentient beings, objects, time), there are endless possibilities: abundance!

Each of us, a single raft is a solid and supportive beam of existence, supporting all the rest...

Indra's net, perhaps?

Larger Rafts?

Please read yesterday’s blog first… 

 

Can we extend this metaphor further?

There are certainly rafts of friends, families, and other small groups… 

Are there rafts of local communities, countries, our world, the Cosmos?

How might these differ from individual rafts, and intimate relationship rafts?

Seems that the rafts get looser with increasing numbers of rafts… 

For me, the most important part of this metaphor… 

Is that we are all connected together… 

More loosely, the larger the raft… 

But still connected… 

Perhaps, by contemplating this connection… 

We may become more compassionate toward each other… 

 

Perhaps, with some “deconstructing practices”… 

Even realizing…  

At the core of being… 

There is no Other… 

The Raft of Relationship

I like metaphors… 

Perhaps, because I tend to think in pictures. 

I was thinking about my current intimate relationship (amazing and fantastic)…

And comparing to past relationships… 

Wondering what makes a great relationship… 

The picture in my mind was of 2 strongly built, solid rafts, coming together… 

Perhaps, in the beginning, the 2 rafts take time to examine their interactions, their shapes and compatibilities. 

And contemplate their differences… 

If things seem compatible, they may try to weave their rafts together. 

To see what that looks like… 

What that feels like… 

How smooth does this new combined raft sail… 

What happens when the financial, or other relationship, waters get rough? 

Over time, the 2 rafts may want to change the way they are bound together.

Things change after 5, 10, 20 years… 

Finances change, jobs may change, children grow up, move out… 

Change is the only thing you can count on, along with death and taxes… 

I’ve written before about Conscious Relationship (and see parts 2-5!): 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/03/conscious-relationship.html

In this current metaphor, the strength of the initial individual rafts… 

Rises up in importance… 

What are the practices that you have done to become a strong independent raft? 

I’ve also written about methods of self-growth can be like a boat to get you to the next level, and than leaving that boat behind, to take the next path to another higher level:

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/03/carrying-ocean-around-carrying-source.html

Is it important to use practices that deconstruct the individual raft of personality?

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2014/01/deconstruction-and-reconstruction-of.html

Perhaps as said in the words of Adyashanti:

"This teaching is not so much a raft to carry you to enlightenment as it is a fire to ignite the raft you are now holding on to."

http://www.awaken.com/2012/10/adyashanti/

Perhaps we need to burn up our rafts on a regular basis, so that when our rafts spontaneously reassemble themselves…

They may leave out parts that no longer serve us… 

Perhaps these practices may allow our rafts of relationship to come together in new and stronger ways… 

Of course, there is always some risk that your new stronger raft no longer fits into that previous raft relationship… 

I am lucky, my wife and I are on the same page about looking deeply inside… 

Traveling in a variety of boats, often together, sometimes separately… 

Yes, this carries risks… 

 We spend time building stronger individual rafts… 

And a continuously stronger raft of relationship… 

Again, our boats may not be your boats, our rafts may not be your rafts… 

Each of you are a beautiful incarnation of Source… 

If you choose to raft-up with another, you have to find your own ways of weaving your rafts together… 

May it be beautiful… 

Namaste

Shaking Things Up

Another interesting conversation with my wife. 

Physics and philosophy… 

The subject of washboard roads came up. 

 

I was wondering if it had anything to do with the observation that in a jar or bag of objects of different sizes that is shaken, the large objects rise to the top.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granular_convection

That led me to bring up Stephen Covey the author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”

Covey puts forth a metaphor about living life.   Where you put the big rocks in first, and then add the gravel in between the big rocks, then you can pour in the tiny grains of sand. 

The big rocks are the important things in life.   You decide what is important.  

But if you don’t schedule in the big things, your life with filled be all the less important things, gravel and sand.  

It turns out that washboard roads are not related to granular convection, where large objects rise to the top when shaken.  

http://perso.ens-lyon.fr/nicolas.taberlet/washboard/

Washboard roads relates to the same movement going over the roads over and over at a certain speed. 

That led me to another, perhaps imperfect, philosophical metaphor. 

If washboard roads are due to the same movement over and over, that is like the grooves we get into, which may not be so healthy for us. 

Resulting in our lives feeling like driving over shaky washboard roads. 

Then what we need to do is find some space in our jar of life and shake things up, so the large objects, the important things, rise to the top. 

Hmmm…  maybe… 

Will have to meditate on this… 

Let me know if this metaphor resonates with you… 

Namaste

Time seems to speed up with age… Can we slow it down?

There seems to be several theories, some are related. 

http://bigthink.com/philip-perry/why-does-time-seem-to-move-faster-as-we-grow-older

The proportional theory makes sense…    

At 5 years, 1 year is 20% of your life. 

At 10 years, 1 year is 10% of your life

20 years, 5%; 40 years, 2.5%

Yet, at 80 years, 1 year is 1.25% of your life. 

So, there is a logarithmic relationship… 

William James, the great psychologist, in 1890, proposed that this feeling of time speeding up with age was a function of fewer novel experiences over time. 

Formative experiences, first love, first car, etc, occurs ages 15-30. 

A related concept is the demands of education, career, family, that “there is never enough time”… 

Although, perhaps, this means that time should slow down when you retire…

I wouldn't know...  

Another psychological concept is “telescopy,” where important events seem closer to the present time, than they actually are…  

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dharma-singh-khalsa-md/aging-process-stress_b_3252864.html

Another proposal relates to slowing metabolic rate with age, along with changes in neurochemicals such as dopamine with age… 

 

Perhaps, relatively low dopamine may relate back to less novel stimulation. 

So, how might we regulate the perceived passage of time? 

Since I am a 7 on the enneagram, I advocate to have more fun!

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-stranger-in-strange-land-part-4.html

Mindfulness and meditative practices seem to slow down time. 

Many of us are addicted to our computers, smartphones, TV, the news, and social media… 

Perhaps, taking a break from these, might slow down time… 

Take time to contemplate our lives, and how we might best live… 

Learning something new and creative, keeps our minds healthy and stimulated! 

Perhaps traveling and seeing new places… 

I wrote about my happiness prescription previously:

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/03/happiness-prescription.html

Always remember, if you are happy, there is no reason to change anything in your life!

Writing this blog is one of the creative things that keeps me happy!

Namaste