Just a Stranger in a Strange: Land Part 4 – Personalities, The Enneagram

The Enneagram lists 9 personality types:

Type One is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Type Two is generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.

Type Three is adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.

Type Four is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.

Type Five is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.

Type Six is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.

Type Seven is spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered.

Type Eight is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.

Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.

The above descriptions are taken from this site, which is the best introduction to the Enneagram that I have found online:

https://www.enneagramworldwide.com/test/

They do want $10.00 to take the online test.  Personally I think you can find your type just by reading about them, or use the free test below.    

This is another excellent site, and also relates these types to the Myers Briggs’, but not always perfectly.  Many links to explore here:

http://theenneagram.blogspot.com/2007/09/new-to-ennegram.html

Free Enneagram test:

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test-2.php

This test is not always correct.  But, will give you and idea of what type you might be.  The test typed me incorrectly, but my correct type was listed second. 

Each of these types relate to each other.  When stressed you tend to another type along the linked lines.  You also have a “wing” which is one of the nearby numbers.   Additionally, many of us have several features within the 3 or 4 types nearby to your central type. 

An interesting part of the Enneagram is that there are also levels within each type.  Just as in other levels of development that we have discussed, they have to do with how much you identify with the ego.

I really like Helen Palmer’s books on the Enneagram.  You may like the books better, if you are a person who still reads books.  I have many, many books!   

The Enneagram does take some time to study.  The above links or books are great starting places.  I won’t try to repeat much here, the sites are much better than anything I can organize in this short blog. 

But, let me give a personal example, I am a 7.  Sometimes labeled as the Peter Pan.  I need to be excited about what I do.  I tend to gluttony, for example, buying too many guitars, bikes, and telescopes.  I like to think of myself as a Renaissance man, with a multiplicity of skills and talents, and too many higher educational degrees!   

I have a 6 wing, the Devil’s Advocate.  I have trouble with authority.  Sometimes when I am stressed I become more like a 5, and isolate myself, in part because of my introverted nature.  Usually, when stressed I go across the designated line and become more like a 1, the Perfectionist.  

As predominately a 7, I procrastinate until the deadline is just about due, or even past due.  The when I feel sufficiently stressed by the deadline I become a perfectionist type 1 machine, churning out that paper, grant, or talk I have to get done.   My wife calls that my cheetah mode, running quickly and precisely toward my goal.

My difficulty is with routine work.  That is one of my basic challenges, showing up to get the work done that needs to get done on a daily basis.  Chop wood, carry water. 

Here are a few nicely put together recommendations for personal growth.  Both general recommendations, and also for each Enneagram type:

http://drdaviddaniels.com/growth-practices/

There is another more esoteric approach to the Enneagram as outlined in A. H. Almaas’ book “Facets of Unity.”  Almaas is working at a higher level.  His interest is in how your understanding of your basic type can help lead you toward an evolution to higher consciousness. 

He writes so beautifully.  Indeed at this level of consideration of Enneagram types, you can see that you really embody all types.  Just you have some stronger tendencies than other types.  He labels these types your “fixations,” or blind spots.   

On page 126 Almaas writes:  “Rather than being oriented toward achieving a certain state of consciousness, a practice that makes sense must be oriented toward freedom from wanting certain states.  True freedom is not the realization of a certain dimension; true liberation is to be free from all dimensions.  It is the freedom of completely accepting whatever the universe manifests through you.”   

Wow!  Surfing the universe.  Or, perhaps, allowing the universe to surf you. 

There are a multitude of personality measures that have been used in the psychological and social studies literature.  We touched on two, the Meyers Briggs’ and the Enneagram.  Currently, these latter two are a little less well used in the literature of science.  Nontheless, I have found them both to be invaluable in explaining why so often I feel like a stranger in a strange land. 

Theories of lines and levels of development and personalities are all maps of the varieties of humans you will encounter, including yourself.  They are maps, not the territory. 

As Ken Wilber writes over and over again, maps help you understand the territory.   But, you must walk and experience the territory for yourself in order to truly understand and grow.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addendum 07/29/17 - My current favorite book on the Enneagram:
The Essential Enneagram: The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide -- Revised & Updated Paperback – May 26, 2009  by David Daniels, Virginia Price

Just a Stranger in a Strange: Land Part 3 – Personalities, Please Understand Me!

Before you go any further please take both of these tests.  The first one is a little longer.   The second one is only 4 questions.  See if they agree as to your type.

Don’t think too hard about each question, go with the first answer that comes up for you. 

1-Jung Typology Test™  This free test is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ typological approach to personality :

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

2-This is a simpler 4-question test:

http://www.personalitydesk.com/story/personality-type-tool

I really like the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, based on the Meyers Briggs’.  However, it is longer and hard to get online for free.  You can find it in Keirsey’s book “Please Understand Me II.”   If you have his book you can take the test as listed in the book.  But be careful in scoring.  The method of scoring is not intuitive and it is very easy to make a mistake! 

Reading Keirsey’s book was a revelation to me.  It finally allowed me to understand why I felt like a stranger in a strange land.  I am an INTP:  Introverted (I) , Intuitive Thinker (NT), and a Perceiver (P). 

Intuitive Thinkers (NT) and Intuitive Feelers (NF) are only about 15% of the population.   Intuitives (N) get their information from inside themselves.  They have an incredibly strong inner compass.  They know when they are right.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else says.  Laws only are to be followed as far as they agree with their inner compass. 

Artisans (SP) and Guardians (SJ) get their information from outside themselves.  They are Sensing (S) individuals, and are the other 85%, about equally distributed in the population.  The Artisans get their information from living life fully in the world.  Guardians get their information from the all-important rules of the world. 

Artisans have a practical and fun loving approach to life.  They are the hedonists and artists.  They are the Sensory Perceptives (SP).   They want first-hand experiences.  They are in the moment, and are usually the most comfortable in their bodies. 

Guardians are Sensory Judging (SJ).  They are the rule followers and the rule makers.  They are interested in morality, hard work, and saving for the future.  Above all they feel responsible. 

Intuitive Feelers (NF) are the Idealists.  They want most of all harmony with everyone around them.   They search for the meaning of existence.  They strive for ultimate authenticity.   They are sensitive to everyone’s emotions.  They often know what you are feeling, sometimes before you do. 

Intuitive Thinkers (NT) are the Rationals.  For well-being they need to be seen as ingenious, autonomous, and resolute.  They love to learn things, but not with the joy of the Artisan.  They particularly rebel against the rules of the Guardians.   They aspire to be the Wizard. 

Within each of these 4 general types, are 4 subtypes.  This site nicely outlines the 16 personality types, click on each one for more info:

http://www.personalitydesk.com/personality-types

Carl Jung noted that these personality types were not something set in stone.  They were tendencies.  His idea was that you would investigate what are your basic personality tendencies, and then go on to better understand oneself.  With this information one can undertake experience and learning that might better balance the parts of yourself that are somewhat weaker, or less developed.    

The value of Keirsey’s book is many-fold.  It examines each type from several view-points, such as what is most of value to that type, and what is each type’s sense of time.  Fun parts include examples of famous individuals with each type. 

When you get an understanding of your own type and read about other types, you can see how easy it is to misjudge another’s motivations.  They are just not thinking and feeling in the same manner as you think and feel.  

Additional value rests in his information on how these various personality types interact with one another.  For example I am an INTP, and my wife is an ENFJ.  Luckily we have taken time to become more balanced. 

As an introvert, I can be interactive at parties, but I sometimes need to spend time with one or at most a few individuals.  Sometimes I leave for a break alone, often taking a brief walk outside, and I am tired at the end of any party.  Parties enliven my extroverted wife.  But she also knows how to be alone. 

For balance, I try to put myself in situations in order to develop my feeling emotional skills.   My wife spent time developing her cognitive rational skills.  We meet as mind-mates and soul-mates, communicating about the world of our interiors. 

There are a multitude of personality inventories.  I found the Meyers Briggs’ to be the most intuitive for me in seeing more clearly my own tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses, and those of the people in the world around me. 

Complementary to the Meyer’s Briggs’ is the Enneagram, we will take that up next.  

Just a Stranger in a Strange Land: Part 2 – Levels of Development

This is a continuation of yesterday’s blog post on lines of development, read that one first.

We can think about an overall level of development of an individual as the average level of all of an individual’s multiple intelligences, or lines of development. 

We can make this more complicated.  Ken Wilber developed a map of “Everything” based on the work of many people and philosophies, notably the works of Lawrence Kohlberg on stages of moral development, along with Don Beck and Chris Cowan’s work labeled as Spiral Dynamics. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg's_stages_of_moral_development

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiral_Dynamics

For me, Wilber provides the most complete map of the territory of human consciousness and social structure with his 4-quadrant theory.  

http://www.integralhealthresources.com/integral-health-2/the-four-quadrants/

I won’t go into too far this map, it is not perfect, but it is the best I have seen.  It does take a fair amount of study for it to make sense to most people.  To understand this map you probably need some significant level of cognitive intelligence, and take some time to study this theory in depth.    

Interestingly, I have found that those who do not have some significant experience with meditation, perhaps this means spiritual intelligence, have difficulty resonating with this map.  I recommend reading Ken Wilber’s “A Brief History of Everything” as the best introduction. 

An interesting observation is that if you are at a higher level of development, you can see and understand lower levels of development.  However, you will have difficulty seeing levels above your own level.  In fact, you will likely deny that higher levels even exist. 

When you move to a stable higher level, you transcend and include the lower levels, and, therefore, you have access to these lower levels.  That is why you can act as a 2-year old or a teenager, if you choose to do so. 

Wilber also argues that a severe deficit in one, or, modest deficits in several, lines of development will preclude your ability to transcend and include your current level and move to the next higher level.  Therefore, it is worthwhile to develop many of your multiple intelligences in order to be able to evolve to the next level. 

There is another interesting observation about moving to your next level.  Particularly concerning spiritual levels of development.  The ego your mind has constructed, must first deconstruct. 

That is, the ego must essentially die, in order to transcend and include.  At least that is what your current ego feels.  It struggles not to change.  The ego is your survival mechanism, your comfortable overcoat.  It worries, “what will happen to this brain-body if I die!” 

Buddhists have described the transition to a stable level of understanding of All-there-is as swallowing a red-hot iron ball.  The pain can be enormous. 

That is why the term “kill the ego” floats around.  You really don’t kill the ego, you transcend and include.  But the ego doesn’t understand this.  It thinks it will die.  It is common to be depressed during times of evolution.  Just before a big change to the next level. 

Unfortunately, our current system does not recognize this.  You go to the doctor depressed.  You get a prescription for an antidepressant.   You get no talk therapy.  You suppress your movement to your next level of evolution.

I am not arguing completely against antidepressants, they may have their place.  There are people who have severe psychic damage that may need chronic antidepressants. 

I am arguing against the way they are used currently for people who are really just undergoing a transition to their next level.  The medical profession does not even understand that this type of depression even exists! (Medical Heretic!)    

Two-year-olds get nasty when they are transcending to their next level, after which they become sweet again.  They show you they are in their transition by saying “no” a lot, and throwing your valuables on the floor and stomping on them. 

Teenagers become grumpy and non-communicative during their evolution to their next level.  They throw your values on the floor and stomp on them.  They become sweet again as well.  They often later take on your values as their own.  It is just pretty hard to see that possibility during their transition.  We also sometimes medicate them incorrectly as well. 

Levels of development are important in our discussion of being a stranger in a strange land, since, as you can imagine, people at widely varying levels of development might have difficulty understanding each other.  As an example, a gang member at a lower level would have difficulty understanding the altruistic nature of a social worker.  But, the social worker would have an easier time understanding the gang member. 

One way of thinking about levels of development is asking, "who does a person consider to be part of their family?"  A gang member would include only members of his gang, and, perhaps, immediate family.  A nationalist would consider to be part of his family only his countrymen who agree with him.   A green environmentalist might include almost all humans, but might exclude those who pollute, or maybe those who shoot guns. 

At the highest levels of development all beings are family.  Nothing is excluded.  There are choices to be made.  We have to eat and have shelter.  Yet, everything living and non-living is held as sacred. 

For an interesting view of how understanding levels of development can affect intimate relationships see Martin Uciks book “Integral Relationships.”

http://www.integralrelationship.com

Next we will take up personality types.  

Just a Stranger in a Strange Land: Part 1 – Lines of Development

Do you ever feel the world is place filled with strangers?  You spend your days and nights hanging out or working with people that are supposed to be your friends and colleagues, but often you feel like they have no idea who you really are.

They might be living with you.  They might be your spouse or lover.  They might be your parents or your kids. 

Then once in awhile you find someone, and you just seem to resonate with them right away.  You feel like they understand you, and you understand them.  Wow! 

Story of my life. 

It took me a long time to realize that we are not all alike.  We vary as individuals in many aspects.  I will outline out what I found.  It has been so very helpful for me to better understand:  Who I am, and, why do I so often feel like a “stranger in a strange land.”

We will discuss multiple intelligences, lines and levels of development, and 2 methods of considering personality types (in 4 separate blog postings!). 

Howard Gardner listed the following multiple intelligences: 

Logical-mathematical

Spatial

Linguistic

Bodily-kinesthetic

Musical

Interpersonal

Intrapersonal

Naturalistic

Existential

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences

We will translate “existential intelligence” as spiritual intelligence.  We can argue at length for merging many of the above, or splitting them off.    Others have expanded these lines even further:

http://mannymolecular.com/mind-emotion/25-multiple-intelligences-and-lines-of-development

Ken Wilber calls these multiple intelligences “lines of development.”  I like both terms.  The term lines of development has some greater use when combined with tomorrow’s topic, levels of development. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Wilber. 

What is most important to consider is that each individual will be stronger in some intelligences, or lines of development, and weaker in others. 

For instance, you can have a great spiritual leader, with whom many people resonate and feel an increased level of spirituality in their presence.  But, that leader’s interpersonal intelligence, which we can also label as moral or emotional intelligence, is so low that they abuse their students sexually. 

Although these are simplistic examples, because individuals are more complex than this, you can imagine that the combination of high cognitive, or science-logical, intelligence with low interpersonal intelligence leads to the socially awkward individual often labeled as “nerdy.”  The high body-kinesthetic intelligence along with low interpersonal intelligence we might label as the “jerk jock.” 

Women in general seem to have higher emotional intelligence than men.  But, this is not a strict rule.  Women do on average seem to be more relational with others. 

Next Levels of Development

Taming Monsters and Dragons

 I was always fascinated by monsters, I still am.  When I was very young I remember asking my mother where did the 4 witches stand?  I was learning the Pledge of Allegiance, probably in kindergarten (please say the Pledge now).  She loved to tell that story.  And I enjoyed hearing it.

I grew up in the 50’s so there was no end to these black and white monster movies.  I’m pretty sure they were mostly black and white, but who knew, we only had a black and white TV set.  

As I sit here, the one movie that comes to mind is this one where a big eye comes out the mysterious mist to kill people (The Crawling Eye!).  But my favorite movies were Dracula, Frankenstein, and especially the Wolfman.  I always wanted to be the Wolfman.   Better than Superman.  The Wolfman was edgier.  A good person with an evil monster inside.  So, you sure didn’t want to piss him off.  The Hulk is a better more modern example. 

I think the edgy superman-monster is all the rage now.  One of my favorite characters is Earl Harbinger, the powerful werewolf leader in Larry Correia’s series Monster Hunter.  And as an aside, Larry, bring back Earl’s redheaded girlfriend! 

Why does the monster so fascinate me?  I think it is the feeling of powerlessness we all have.  As a kid I really felt this sense of being without power in the world.  I assume that is why I took up martial arts. 

My parents are Holocaust survivors.  I’m sure there was some influence of the horrors they experienced, although, they never spoke about what they had seen until we were adults.   Things get transmitted anyway.  There are probably stray words spoken.  The child picks up on body language.   And there are other levels of transmission, limbic resonance, psychic connections, and other subtle energies (Scientific Heretic!).

For an example of these types of subtle transmissions outside the range of current accepted science I love to use the work of Bert Hellinger.  His work on family constellations is absolutely fascinating.  He takes an individual with a problem, depression, anxiety, and sets up a room of total strangers around this person.  Each stranger is assigned a role: The father, the mother, siblings, anyone of importance.  He then arranges these people in certain positions around the index client.  As the scene unfolds these total strangers seem to channel the individuals they are assigned to be.  Very therapeutic, and very outside the realm of science we currently accept (Heretic!).

When my son was a troubled teenager, although, maybe it was his family and our society who were really “troubled,” we went to a very insightful therapist.  She said that what she does is “Tame Dragons.”  We all have dragons inside us.  And we live in a world with people who have dragons living inside of them. 

So part of my fascination with monsters arises from my feelings of being powerless in the world.  Additionally, many of us also like to get a little creepy scare from movies.  Maybe we like them so much because of the truth that we all have monsters, dragons, inside each of us.  Further, we are surrounded by people who have monsters inside of each of them.  Think about Billy Joel’s song, “The Stranger.” 

Robert Bly in his book “Iron John,” describes a long black bag that each of us drags behind us as we travel through life.  We place in the bag the parts of ourselves we reject.  That bag gets heavier and heavier, unless we take these rejected parts of ourselves back out.  If we don’t acknowledge these rejected parts, if we keep the knowledge of their existence only in our unconscious, they will rise up and bite us when we least expect. 

The practice is to find them and take them out to incorporate them consciously in our current beings.  Not that they have to be active.  But, they must be acknowledged.  Perhaps even honored.  Given credit for the roles they did once play in our lives.  Some of these parts that we reject are our monsters.

By looking at these monsters, we tame them.  We can acknowledge and thank them.  But we also tell them they don’t need to be play their role as a monster right now.  They can be a sleeping dragon.  We will promise to call on them if they are needed, perhaps for our survival. 

So, turn around.  Look in your long black bag.  Take out a monster or a dragon, and thank it for what it has done for you.  

Enlightenment Part 2

 Got up at 2 am with the call to sit.  I arrange my body on the cushion.  Pull a blanket around my shoulders.  I fidget until I am somewhat comfortable.  Thoughts came up at first, planning for writing.  At first I wrote notes down in my iPhone.  Watching carefully my thoughts, the thoughts slowly, slowly, slowed.

Felt the muscles of my face and around my eyes relax.  The Witness disappeared.  Slipped into deep empty fullness.  Time disappeared. 

The Witness came back.  The thoughts once again started to arise.

I had the thought that I should get up and write.  Ignoring the first feeling to arise, I continue to sit.  That feeling goes away.  I ignore the 2^nd urge to arise.  I usually arise at the 3^rd time the feeling comes.  I looked at my phone, sat for about an hour. 

Slipping into All-that-is comes easier every year.  At the beginning there was a balance of trying and not trying.  It has been likened to painting a cage around a bird before it flies away.  Frustrating at first.  The ego, the monkey mind, does not want to quiet. 

The ego is important.  If we were to sit in All-that-is, we would never eat.  There is no one there to eat.  The ego protects us.  Allows us to survive.  We never kill the ego.  We transcend and include.  The ego is allowed to rest.  We can thank the ego for being present in our lives, for protecting us.  The ego helps us to plan for meals, find a means to make money, to find shelter.  Importantly, the ego helps us to fully enjoy being in this body.  Enjoying being human.  Doing human.  

In the state of All-that-is, there is no doing, just being.  Most of us do not spend enough time just being.  Ours is a doing society.  Mass media tells you to do.  Our whole society tells us to do, do, do.  Doo-doo to that. 

When we take time to just be.  We change in subtle ways.  Compassion comes up.  We are less selfish.  We are less self, with a small “s,” and more Self, with a big “S.”

But compassion arises within being in the ground of all being, within being in All-that-is.  When we come back into the world we can use that compassion with wisdom.  Ken Wilber writes about Wisdom as what we learn in deep meditation, and Compassion is using that wisdom while walking in the world.

We can shed the ego within being All-that-is, but we must re-engage that ego to walk and work in the world.  Think of the ego as a comfortable overcoat, your favorite coat.  We shed that coat in deepest meditation, where compassion arises.  We then arise and put back on that overcoat to walk in the world.  To act with wisdom.  Right action. 

The practice of just being, slips us into All-that-is.  Within All-that-is there is no “I.”  No one can speak the words “I am enlightened.”  That sentence doesn’t make any sense.  Enlightenment is the ground of all being.  It is being in the ground of all being.  We are always already in the ground of all being, but our ego gets in the way of recognizing this.  It wants us to survive.

Words get in the way.  We can start to argue.  What is this “Ground of All Being?’  What is this “All-that-is?”  Was that an episode of Kensho?  Is that Satori, Samadhi, Nirvana?  Maybe really I’m just lost in Samsara?  Who do we label as Enlightened?  Is enlightenment a temporary mind-state?  Can enlightenment be a trait?  What does it mean to incorporate this “into your bones?”  What does it mean to “have a toe dipped in this state at all times?”  Is enlightenment really just acting within the flow of the true will of the Universe?

If you've never heard of some of theses terms, it really doesn't matter!  If you are interested, Google them, the Wiki's are pretty good.  

Words are “fingers pointing at the moon.”  Words are maps of the territory.  The territory is exactly what it is.  We are like the blind persons, trying to describe the elephant to each other.  

In the world of traditional science, we try to agree on what our words are describing.  Hypotheses about how the world works.  In the science of the mind, what is happening is much more subtle, more difficult to describe.  In the science of spirituality, there is an “N” of one.  Each person has his or her own experience.  No two individuals have exactly the same experience.  Agreement on words is more difficult. 

Reading about the experience of others, then practicing just being.  Then perhaps you realize others have walked the same path. 

Mainstream scientists have difficulty accepting the science of mind and spirit.  If you have never been in the state of All-that-is, you will deny that it even exists. 

Books by Lynne McTaggart and books and writings by Larry Dossey, especially his editorials in the journal Explore, very nicely point us toward the important edges of the science of mind and spirit.  

Pointing out the places to explore at the edges of science helps to move us all toward a better understanding of All-that-is.  Whatever that is…

Take some time to just be.  

When I’m Lost

Deeply sunk

into a

deep

dark

hole

Stillness

Staying

in 

the

hole

Not

running

away

a

sweet

scent

starts to

arise...

How can

this be?

This is

Hell

no

sweetness

can

penetrate

this darkness...

Who is

partaking of

this

sweet

nectar?

Is certainly

is not

"I"

So

"I"

am

finally

lost...

About time...

What are you

waiting

for?

Death has

come

but

bearing

sweet

nectar

Immortal

Nectar

Feeding

the

undying

Nourishing

the

Spirit

Lo, the

mind

returns...

The body

returns...

Hah,

life

goes

on

Laughter

is...

Death

is...

No

destiny

No

free will

The course is clear

again

Sail on...

Stones

I love stones.  As a young child I was always collecting stuff, stones, feathers, small creatures.  In elementary school I once kept a small toad in my pencil case.  I kept it there just for the day.  I did let it go before it died. 

When I was young, my family would go to the mountains in the summers on vacation.  I remember one summer collecting small salamanders.  They were called red efts, very beautiful delicate small orange creatures with red dots in 2 rows across their backs.   I tried to bring home a pair.  My parents were very tolerant of my hobbies.  Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to feed them, and neither did my parents.  There was no internet for easily acquiring that information.  They died.  I learned a powerful lesson about collecting things that were alive. 

 

After that, I didn’t bring home live things unless I learned how to care for them.   That didn’t mean I didn’t catch them for temporary enjoyment.  I once captured a garter snake.  I fed it chopped meat on a string.  Then I found a large toad, at least 5 times as large as this snake’s head.  I thought, “no way the snake could eat him.”  They could be companions. 

From the other room, I heard my sister screaming one morning.  The snake had grabbed the toad by one back leg.  We watched as the snake slowly crawled with each small movement of its 4-hinged jaw over that toad.  Expanding its head and body until there was just a big lump in its middle.  Very cool!  Another lesson learned. 

Early scientists would collect things.  They would try to classify them visually.  As scientists we still do this to some extent. 

I remember visiting a museum and we had a special visit to the collections area.  They showed us hundreds of preserved birds in little boxes, each just a little different than the others, variations of one species.   Currently, we also classify using DNA technology.  But, with ancient bones, from many creatures including proto-humans, we still use morphology, the study of shapes and sizes.  

I like hunting for stones.  Shells are fun too.  But there is something about stones.  Maybe you take a small one home as a reminder of your trip.  Maybe you just keep it for a few hours and leave it at the end of your hike.  The enjoyment is in the hunt. 

I am not a hunter in the traditional sense.  I like target shooting (Heretic!  You betray your liberal upbringing!).  But I don’t hunt and kill creatures.  My family did not hunt.  I never grew up hunting.  I never grew up with firearms either.  But, I was a natural hunter even as a child. 

When I am out in nature I notice the birds.  I follow the tracks of animals in the sand or in the snow.   I am a photographer.   I love to shoot animals with my camera.  It is like hunting to me.  When I was a little kid I would stalk animals, sometimes to capture them.  Often they were too fast for capture.  I never threw stones or made a bow and arrow to try and kill them. 

I remember a story about someone who took a stone from a sacred mountain in Hawaii.   He had bad luck until he brought the stone back.  I think about that when I collect stones.  I try to think, if everyone took a stone from this place would it make a difference? 

I have heard people speak about sacred places.  Places of power.  Is that inherent in certain locations, part of the structure of the earth?  Are there lines of power in the earth? 

I like to think that places are sacred, because we think they are.  I like to think about the power of the mind.  Most sacred places are places of beauty.  Natural beauty.  Awe-inspiring places. 

Can we be in awe of any place where we are, at any given moment?  Does an individual brain have that power?  I think it does.   I think the human brain influences others in the world, in the Universe (Oh, you heretic of traditional science!).  

I like Michael Grab’s work http://www.gravityglue.com.  He makes beauty out of balancing stones, like Andy Goldsworthy, his work is ephemeral.  But, for those moments of perfect balance, that location has been transformed. 

Sacred places likely move our brains toward that enlightened state of being.  Perhaps just for a few moments, we stop and gaze around, drink in the beauty.  For a moment, we are one with all that is.  Then we usually get lost in the past or in the future.  But for that moment we are transported to another wonderful state of being. 

When I bring a stone back with me I capture a small bit of that place to remind me of the beauty of that place.  I can hold that stone and be transported back to that moment of stillness, that moment of being fully present.  I really don’t need the stone. 

This practice of mindfulness.  This practice of being still.  That is the groove we develop in the brain.  That groove that allows the mind to be still, to be fully present in this moment.  Over and over again. 

Like a film-strip, who remembers filmstrips?  Can we be the space between the frames?  

Dreams

I don’t often remember my dreams.   But I keep a journal with pen and flashlight near my bed.  I’ll jump up, trying to remember the dream before it fades away, I write down 3-4 things I can still remember.  Sometimes I can write out almost the whole dream.

To set the stage, I’ll do some more self-revealing.  I got divorced about 10 years ago, an important move for me.  Also, subsequently found a life partner for this second round of life.  Someone who understands being a seeker, and with whom I can practice radical acceptance, but that latter topic is for another day.

Pre-divorce and post-divorce I was in a lot of turmoil.  I ended up seeing 2 psychotherapists.  The first one was actually a person I knew socially, as part of a group of seekers who met every other Sunday to discuss “all that is.”  Deep, heartfelt, discussions of paths and our own journeys.  He is Jungian and a wonderful listener, with a keen ear for bullshit.  We agreed that my seeing him clinically, outside of our group, would not be a conflict.  As a Jungian, dreams are central to therapy. 

I was also separated from my then wife and she insisted I get “a second opinion.”  I must be crazy if I wanted a divorce!  So, I met with a psychiatrist at the university.  He was also such an interesting individual, and an excellent complement to my Jungian analyst, that I ended up seeing them both for about 2 years.  He also did not tolerate any bullshit, and dreams were also central to his style of therapy. 

Now this was fun.  I could bring the same dream to 2 brilliant scientists of the mind, and see what I could learn.  Very cool! 

I woke this morning with an epic dream.  The dream had many scenes.  I can’t remember all the details, but I ran upstairs to this computer and wrote the following:  Jon Kabat-Zinn, P3 facility, Energetic, Lost my shoes and have to go back to the P3 facility. 

 

It is probably better to analyze dreams with another experienced individual.  However, you can do it yourself.  There are many ways to do so.  I use what I learned from these two wonderful experts. 

Yes folks, you can try this at home. 

But, try to have your own bullshit detector up and running. 

I first assume that all characters are aspects of myself.  I’ve met JKZ on several occasions.  He wrote the book, literally, on mindfulness–based stress reduction.  Besides being a brilliant thinker and scientist, he is one of the loveliest energetic and gentle human beings I know.  Just being in his presence fills me with joy.  John is very generous, he will tell you all that joy comes from inside of yourself.  He is correct, it does all come from inside yourself.  However, through limbic resonance we resonate with the inner emotional states of individuals around us.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_General_Theory_of_Love

If you are in the presence of someone who is depressed, you can feel some level of depression.  If you are talking with someone filled with agitation you feel agitated.  Being in the presence of someone like the Dali Lama fills you with joy. 

Being with our Sunday group does that for me.  Talking with my wife does this as well, especially when we get into talking about “all that is.”   

The other place I get that feeling is when reading the works of wonderful spiritual writers such as Thomas Cleary, Ken Wilber, and a few others. 

Of course, deep meditation is the place of practice, creating that groove in the brain of calm peacefulness.  Important to develop that groove so you can slip into it when you need it.  Important, so you can keep a toe dipped in it at most times. 

So dreaming about JKZ means touching that part of me that is filled with joy and calm peacefulness.  What about this P3 facility?  A biohazard level 3 laboratory (pathogen 3 = P3, or Biosafety Level 3 = BL3) is used for work with dangerous microbes or toxins.  Usually there is a laminar flow biosafety cabinet, biohazard suit, masks, goggles, gloves, a negative pressure airflow to the whole room that empties out through high efficiency particle filters, and you shower afterward. 

I worked in one all during graduate school and I ran one for a short time when I was first running my own lab.  I like the far edges of things, maybe a little danger in my science makes doing science more fun. 

Dreaming about the P3 facility must be connected with my former work in the lab.  I have some deep guilt about closing my lab.  I was trained by some amazing scientists, so I feel somewhat that I let them down when I closed my lab. 

Now, losing my shoes and having to go back, what is that all about?  And what about JKZ being so energetic?  I remember a few more scenes.  Jon and I were talking and walking and we came up to a group of people listening to music and dancing.  Jon took off and danced like a wild man.  I was more on the sidelines watching.  After that he left and I noticed I didn’t have my shoes. 

Hmmm, not having my shoes?  It is a little like the dreams where you find yourself in your underwear or naked in public.  So, I am feeling somewhat vulnerable, but not so exposed that I am naked.  But, I am more vulnerable without my shoes.  I have to go back to the P3 facility to get them.  Perhaps I need to get back to the lab?  Or maybe I need to start something new?  Perhaps the combination of JKZ, my symbol for that inner calm place within me, and the P3 facility, representing my work at the edges of science, means that I am contemplating my next steps in my career.  My career seems to change every 5-7 years.  This blog is part of that change. 

I’ve been contemplating using my skills more psychotherapeutically, for those who want to explore their spiritual growth. 

JKZ being so energetic, what part of me is that?  Well, I have a lot of energy around this blog.  I am enjoying the writing.  I hope it may be of some help to others on the path to self-discovery. 

Sitting here right now, it comes up for me that I am exposing myself in this blog.  I am keeping some facts about my identity hidden.  I have some very dear friends and colleagues who have some level of knowledge about the stranger parts of this thing I call “self.”  But, most people around me at the university have no idea how much of a heretic I am.  I am tenured, so I am very difficult to fire.  But, I do have some fears.  I think this dream is reflective of those fears.  Perhaps, this dream represents the fears of exposing my inner thoughts, as well as my fears about where I am going next in my career. 

Where are my therapists when I need them? 

Well, I haven’t been in therapy for about 5 years.  But group is today!  Maybe I’ll bring up this dream.  Our group loves dreams, we turn them over and see how they resonate within each of us.  Great learning about yourself can emerge from contemplating the meaning of someone else’s dream, as well as your own. 

But, really is there “a someone else?”  Maybe at some lower level we are separate beings.  But, at the highest level of truth we are more like 2 puppets on the hands of one being.  We just pretend to be “separate selves.”  There really is only one Self, with a capital S.  That truth resonates within the deepest darkest place filled with the brightest light. 

Thanks for coming along.