First the Agony, then the Ecstasy, and then the Laundry.

Or, maybe after the small ecstasy, the agony, then higher ecstasy, then some more agony, then more ecstasy, and during this all someone has to do the laundry.

I loved Jack Kornfield’s book “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.”  To be honest, Jack does write about the agony as well.  He just didn’t put “Agony” in the title.  

Often within spiritual unfolding, after the first taste of ecstasy, there is a period of depression.  Often before any great spiritual opening there is a period of great agony.  The ancients wrote about the experience as “swallowing a red-hot ball of metal.” 

The following describes considering the Koan “Mu.”  Koans are puzzles meant to confuse the rational thinking mind, when the mind is totally confused, this is one way to let pure consciousness arise:    

So then, make your whole body a mass of doubt, and with your 360 bones and joints and your 84,000 hair follicles, concentrate on this one word No [Mu]. Day and night, keep digging into it. Don't consider it to be nothingness. Don't think in terms of 'has' or 'has not.' It is like swallowing a red-hot iron ball. You try to vomit it out, but you cannot. [Translation from Boundless Way Zen]

http://buddhism.about.com/od/chanandzenbuddhism/a/What-Is-Mu.htm

So what is this agony? 

 

The agony comes from the ego struggling to survive.  The experience is of dying. 

In order to climb higher on the evolutionary tree, you must die to who you were before. 

Actually, you are, strictly speaking, transcending and including.  You may feel like you are dying.  But, you actually include that old self into this new self. 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-stranger-in-strange-land-part-2.html

It feels like dying anyway. 

So, in your quest for personal evolution, in your quest for “enlightenment.”  (Whatever the hell you think that might be.) 

Welcome the depression.  Welcome the agony.  Realize it is temporary. 

It hurts anyway.  And, may be quite miserable for everyone around you as well. 

As Vonnegut says “so it goes.” 

Most of us on this sacred quest have no other choice.  We must push on. 

We may take some breaks.  But, there is no end to our spiritual unfolding. 

Agony and Ecstasy. 

Unfold We Must.  

I like that, should make that a bumper sticker or a T-shirt! 

I am sorry for your pain.  Been there.  Will be there again, and again.

And I delight with you in your Ecstasy. 

I am with you.  We are all with you.  We have never been apart from each other. 

Come, let us continue to surf together. 

Gateway Drugs

I was musing this morning about the fear mongering regarding entheogens.

Alternatively known as psychedelics. 

The government has this line of how any illegal drug can lead to taking the hard drugs, heroin in particular.  And there is a growing epidemic of opiate addiction. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/philip-seymour-hoffman-heroin-death-points-to-broader-opioid-drug-epidemic/2014/02/07/42dbbc5a-8e61-11e3-b46a-5a3d0d2130da_story.html

Interesting that newer data are showing that these entheogens can be used as medications to treat addictive disorders.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dimitri-mugianis/ibogaine-treatment-heroin-addiction_b_3287873.html

http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/09/lsd-may-help-treat-alcoholism/

And they may be of use for end of life anxiety.

http://www.noetic.org/noetic/issue-fifteen-october/psilocybin-at-end-of-life/

This is not recreational use. 

This is use as a medication with the proper set and setting for treatment (Heretic!). 

http://csp.org/practices/entheogens/docs/roberts-immune.html

Set and setting is important even if you are using these drugs illegally (remember never do anything illegal!).

http://csp.org/nicholas/Settings.html

I hope that the already documented medical use of entheogens will bring these medications out of the ridiculous DEA Schedule 1 category of “no medical use.” 

The evidence is clear.  There is legitimate medical use for these medications. 

We wasted 40 years of lost research time that we could have used to find where these medications can be best used to help addictions, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. 

These are not gateway drugs to hard drug use. 

These medications are possible gateways to healing and the evolution of human consciousness. 

Oh, that’s right.  That is why the government banned them in the first place. 

I hope we are a bit smarter now, 40 years later. 

We shall see…   

Our Nomadic Food

Interesting Sunday group meeting.

One our group that has been away for several years, and only comes back once or twice a year. 

She is a famous chef, part of the original local foods and slow foods movement.  She just wrote a beautiful little cookbook and she brought copies for all of us!! 

So, of course, we were talking about food.  

 It came up how geology and climate can direct how we act and what we eat. 

Rene Dubois noted that geology and climate often directs what kind of political system we will have.  For example, it seems like Russia will always have a Czar. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/René_Dubos

Then I was thinking about how studying the Native American diets could give us an important example of the original interaction between the environment here in the US and possible diets. 

Then I was thinking how the Native Americans were often nomadic. 

They needed to move around in order to get the food they needed to survive these vastly different seasons in this big country.

Now we are no longer nomads. 

What came up for me is that instead of being nomads, we have made our foods nomadic. 

Our food now often travels great distances to get to us. 

Instead of us traveling to our food! 

Yes, this not so good for our carbon footprint. 

But, perhaps, this is what our country needs to do in order to live fully in this huge country with its many different geologies and climates. 

Not to say that we should not try to live with a smaller carbon footprint, and eat our foods as locally as possible. 

Still I find it interesting that we might see our food in a slightly different light. 

Nomadic foods. 

Something to think about. 

What Do You Do When Feeling Depressed

I’ve felt vaguely down these past few weeks. 

Nothing in particular. 

Disliking my job. 

Feeling annoyed at the little things I need to get done.  I really don’t like to “work.”

I am a Seven (on the Enneagram scale).  I would rather play!

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-stranger-in-strange-land-part-4.html

Feeling underpaid, unappreciated. 

Car needs $3,000 worth of work, new tires, etc.  Have to pay for some family visit flights.  Have to have the cabin stained, $7,000.  Feeling financially stressed. 

So what did I do?

Gave up alcohol for a few days.  Ate a bit less.   Dropped a few pounds, really need to drop 10 or more. 

That would let me bike uphill a bit faster, when we finally thaw out.  

Got daily exercise.  Did some more outdoor exercise. 

Meditated daily.  Did some shamanic journeying with my whale guide. 

Played my guitar and uke a bit more often. 

Got some work chores done, writing, completing silly online safety questionnaires for work. 

During a x-country ski this afternoon, the question became clear. 

Would I want to be anyone else? 

The answer was completely clear: No! 

I like being who I am, exactly where I am.  In this moment. 

Would I like to be doing less clinical work?  Yes. 

 

Would I like to be earning a bit more money?  Yes!

Would I like a bit more security for the future?  Of course! 

But, who am I?

That is the question with no answer! 

That is the ultimate koan. 

I can say I am the embodiment of Source. 

But, those words have no meaning. 

Fingers pointing at the moon. 

There is no “I.”  That is an illusion.  Created by this animal brain. 

This brain-body that wants to survive.  Dissatisfaction is built in. 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-second-commandment-love-everything_13.html

We are always exactly where we need to be. 

We will be somewhere else, we will be something else, in this very next instant. 

I am watching for the next doors that are available to this being “I” label “myself.” 

And “I” will walk through the next door “I” believe “I” am choosing. 

But, there really is no choosing, ultimately. 

There is only the unfolding of Source. 

“I” surrender to the ride. 

Whoever that is surfing…