Can we get to this point?
Let us start with our intimate partner.
Can we hold this person as our most precious gift?
Whether we are with them for 8 days or 80 years…
They are a gift.
When it is 8 days, we have been given a lesson of
relationship.
Maybe they are so damaged that we realize that they cannot
be our partner for any longer than these 8 days…
That is still practicing radical acceptance.
We accept that they are doing the best they can.
They looked attractive at the time…
But, we soon learned that this would not be a healthy
relationship for ourselves.
Or, perhaps, we were “dumped.”
Can we learn from this?
Have we been damaged in some significant way that we were at
fault…
That we were just too difficult to be with any longer…
And, maybe something in between…
Perhaps, both our desires and needs just were not met.
Perhaps that “one fight” was not tolerable…
My therapist showed me that there really was only one fight
in a relationship…
It can morph into all sorts of fights…
But, can you drill down to that one basic difference, that
one thing that is a point of conflict?
Perhaps one person is practicing radical acceptance, and the
other is not.
Perhaps one partner is insecure and must start fights in
order to feel loved…
To constantly test the other…
If we can get to this point of radical acceptance, maybe we
can make it to that 80 years together…
Doesn’t mean you have to like everything about your intimate
partner…
But, you have to love that whole package…
You love it all…
what you like, and what you don’t…
And, what you don’t, is likely the area you need to do your
own work…
Often we “project” our inner conflicts and dislike of those
parts of ourselves, on our partner…
For more, see this Blog entry and the others, parts 2-5 on conscious
relationship…
Let us take this a step further!
Can we radically accept all parts of ourselves, and the
world?
Can we accept everyone is doing the best they can?
Even the most horrid individuals…
Perhaps this radical acceptance might even be most difficult
for ourselves…
Dropping that inner critic, that second arrow…
Loving everything, just as it is…
And then…
Working for change…
Change in ourselves…
Change in the world…
Little steps
toward evolution
to a higher…
more accepting level…
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