The Second Commandment: Love Everything – Part 4

The Love Everything Table of Errors

	Positive Errors	Negative Errors	Ignorance Errors
Self	Narcissism	Self Harm	Unconscious Self Shadow
Others	Idiot Compassion	Unfair Punishment	Unconscious Societal Shadow

The Error of Self Harm

The Error of Narcissism is mistaking your comfortable overcoat of ego, as all of Source.  This is confusing the little self with the big Self. 

The Error of Self Harm is a failure to see this little self as a deeply important manifestation of Source.  Here we get lost in the small view, that this little self is all that exists, and we don’t really even like this small self.  That small view leads to suffering, and a lack of respect for our connection to all of Source.   

Often, it is hard to see our own suffering. 

Some of us have been taught to put everyone else first, before tending to ourselves.

Common problems are related to failures of “filling you own cup, before letting it overflow to others.”

These revolve around giving too much of your time and energy to family, friends, or work.  Many of us grow up within expectations that you give to others first, without regard for yourself. 

You are labeled as “selfish,” if you give to yourself first. 

I see the older generations labeling the younger generations as selfish, because they are not willing to sacrifice their lives for what others deem as important. 

I applaud the younger generations who want to decide for themselves what is important.  And, therefore, they want to be able to decide where to expend their energies. 

Perhaps there is need to see more clearly what we define as “selfish.” 

In general, I do not have a problem with filling my own cup first.  I exercise regularly, using aerobic exercise usually outdoors cycling, and indoors, elliptical training, yoga stretching, light-weights, and core exercises.  I eat fairly healthily.  I take time to restore psychologically, often through reading as well as exercising.  I sit in meditation within several methods, and go on 7-10 day silent retreats every few years. 

Do I do this perfectly?  No. 

Do I berate myself for my imperfections and weight gain?  Often! 

Then I go sit on my cushion, maybe practice some Metta or Tonglen, turn my gaze inward, and connect to Source.  Compassion arises.  Forgiveness arises for this small self, and no further second arrows are shot. 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/02/gentler-meditation.html

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-second-arrow-is-optional.html

On the other hand, sometimes, we dwell in our suffering, learning to “enjoy” this pain as the only way to feel anything. 

Peter Levine in his 2010 book “In an Unspoken Voice” argues that central to this suffering is our loss of deeply feeling our existence within this body.  Losing our natural embodiment. 

We substitute the “idea of the self” for the actuality of living and feeling exactly what is happening in each moment.  Peter Levine’s book, and life’s work, is about healing trauma.  Yet, his observations are relevant for all of us in our day-to-day lives, even without any history of clear trauma. 

Levine discusses our disembodiment.  Often, for women, the idea of the “perfect body,” airbrushed by the media, leads to anorexia and bulimia.  Also, leading to breast implants that decrease actual sexual sensation, and other plastic surgery, many times resulting in an ugly, artificial looking, body and face. 

Men can get lost in the addiction to pornography.  Often, they masturbate so hard and so fast, that they lose the ability to sense the pleasure of being inside the softness of another human, and therefore, lose the ability to perform within the beauty of sex with another. 

Peter Levine lists addictions to “overwork, sex, drugs, drinking or compulsive eating,” as manifestations of our disembodiment (p. 285).  I’ll add shopping, surfing the internet, and online gaming. 

At the end of his Chapter 12 “The Embodied Self,” Levine has some worthwhile exercises to practice being embodied.  I recommend his book for everyone, even for those of use who feel we have never had significant trauma, mainly because we have all been traumatized in some ways, simply by being alive. 

For further recommendations on being embodied, see my prior blogs: 

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/03/happiness-prescription.html

http://enlightenedmdphd.blogspot.com/2013/04/enlightenment-part-5-final-secret.html

If Self Harm is one of your errors within the Second Commandment to Love Everything, start small and slow on your path to deeper embodiment and connection to Source. 

It can be painful at times.  But, it is also a beautiful path to healing. 

Remember to listen to others, but follow your own path. 

Your body’s felt sense of what is correct, is your intuition and guide. 

May you be safe.

May you be healthy.

May you be happy.

May you live with ease.

Namaste.