Meditation: Finding Exactly Who and What I AM.

Difficulty going to sleep.   Fitfully waking.

My wife and I are moving from the Midwest to the West. 

I am retiring from academic medicine after 25 years. 

I’ll join a private practice for about 5 years, or so... 

Make some money.  Pay off the house.  Retire again. 

Then, probably do some sort of practice helping people evolve… 

Maybe an entheogen coaching practice!  

The process of cleaning out 11 years of stuff is daunting. 

And tiring. 

My back hurts! 

And the endless forms for a medical license in a new state. 

Getting new hospital privileges. 

Blah, Blah, Blah… 

Worthwhile. 

My parents have passed on. 

Time to be closer to my wife’s aging parents.  

And the grandkids! 

Get our move paid for…  

Bought a smaller ranch-style house.  

With less yard. 

Blah, Blah, Blah… 

When I wake, I go and sit on my cushion. 

Why? 

Because

I forget who I am. 

What I am. 

And who and what I am not. 

What a long strange trip it’s been… 

And it doesn’t seem to be even near to being over… 

I am graced with much… 

A lovely partner interested in personal evolution. 

And the evolution of others… 

Practicing radical acceptance together… 

Enough income to enjoy life… 

Right livelihood… 

Blah, Blah, Blah… 

I forget who and what I am… 

So I go and sit on my cushion…  

And ask these questions… 

Fingers pointing at the moon… 

Over and over and over again… 

This body mind

Forgets… 

Sitting…  

 

Letting all these wants and desires… 

All these rejections of pain…  

All of this confusion…  

Fall

Away

Until

There is

Nothing

Left…  

I AM THAT

OM TAT SAT

Namaste