On one hand we have dissatisfaction built into our
brain-bodies. That drives us to change
the world. Drives us to discover the
natural world. We postulate laws and
theories, build libraries of knowledge, and edifices to our works.
Why?
The law of entropy says everything tends to disorder. Iron rusts.
Roads are upheaved by frost or plants.
Buildings crumble. We eventually
grow old and die.
What drives the Universe to order? What force causes the stars to form? What creates everything and our selves from
this stardust? These heavy elements
formed from simple hydrogen by fusion.
Why does this stardust become animated? What force animated this first one-celled
organism? What drove evolution from
these simple one celled creatures into the questing, creating, beings we are
today?
On the psychological side, we are all wounded
individuals. We have individual wounds
from prenatal life, through birth, and afterward. The classic wound is that first time we
realize we actually are not part of our mother’s being. That is a deep wound, healed often by
transcending this wound within the embrace of our mother’s love.
But, being embraced in our mother’s love does not always
happen. Then the wound is more difficult
to heal.
We then receive further wounds. Such as the first time someone is mean to us,
and the second time, and on and on.
These are wounds because they are showing us that we are not one with
something we wish to one with.
Then there may be wounds from the father, often abandonment
or abuse.
Then there are our ancestral wounds. Wounds that are part of the culture we grow up
within. Multiple holocausts. There are the wounds of our parents. And, if time is truly not linear, perhaps the
wounds of our descendants (scientific heretic!).
So, being wounded is part of being alive. The question is what do we do with these
wounds?
Perhaps part of our “drive to create” is based in the drive to
heal our wounds. Some of us become
seekers. Sometimes we are tortured by,
or sometimes we may be just interested in, this feeling of estrangement from
the Universe.
We sometimes use drugs to cover over this profound feeling
of loss. Sometimes within the use, or
abuse, of some of these drugs, such as the entheogens, we discover that we are
already always one with the Universe.
Sometimes, like Ramana Maharshi, we are called to lie down
and “die,” to our past self, and spontaneously become one with All-That-Is.
Sometimes in the deepest blackest part of our life we
suddenly awaken to the realization we always already are part of All-That-Is. Sometimes we meditate for 30 years and then awaken. Sometimes we never awaken.
The Universe is built on these 2 processes, which are really
just one complementary process:
1-The entropy of falling into component parts, and
2-The creativity of building into something more complex,
i.e., evolution.
These component parts are termed Holons by Koestler, and
later adapted and expanded by Wilber into the 4 quadrants. Everything is a whole into itself and a part
of something more complex. Carbon atoms
are whole atoms, and can be part of a sugar molecule, the sugar molecule is part
of a plant, the plant is part of a forest, and so on.
As humans, we are a reflection of these 2 processes of
entropy and evolution, as is everything.
But, then you ask the deepest questions, “who am I, and why
do I exist?”
Why does the Universe, Source, G-d, Spirit, the Ineffable,
split itself into “the 10, 000 things?”
Actually, it splits into billions and billions of holons.
The answer within the mystic traditions is that Universe
hides away from itself. Playing hide and
seek. The Universe does this because it
is the only way that the Universe can appreciate a beautiful sunny day, the
touch of a loved one, or the laughter of a child.
I like the explanation of why this is true, which is based
on the statement by Wilber, “because it is no fun to have dinner alone.”
Hence, we are the sensory organs of the Universe.
So, that is why we suffer.
We have been torn asunder from All-That-Is. To heal, we try to meld ourselves back into that
one Source.
Sometimes, we pray to G-d to show us the way. Sometimes we build temples to whatever we
conceive Source to be. We build religious
temples, universities dedicated to knowledge, or a McMansion. They all reflect our desire to be one with
All-That-Is.
Sometimes as the male animus we have a tendency to try to
merge with the All by becoming a monk on a mountain. Sometimes as the female anima we have a
tendency to try to merge with the All by first helping other’s on the
path.
Yet, a woman can be in love with the solitary contemplative
life, and a man may play the white knight, trying to heal individuals, or the
world.
I contend that we must first fill our own cup, and then let
it overflow to others!
One way of healing is to tell your stories of your wounding
to people who will listen with deep love, compassion, and steeped in radical
acceptance. Another way is to gather
with like-minded folks in celebration of our essential woundedness, and at the
same time our essential wholeness.
(Every truth resides in paradox).
In the deepest depth of meditation we can awaken to the
truth that we were never apart from our wholeness. We were just fooled by our animal
brain-bodies.
Perhaps than you can engage in deep true forgiveness for the
perceived wounds inflicted upon you. Compassion
for yourself, and All-That-Is, arises.
You can forgive yourself, and forgive all others, and then realize
that there is no difference. There is no
other.
Then let go of these stories. Let go of this construct you call “self.”
Thereby, merging with Self.
Become the creativity that brings this world and all worlds
to a higher stage of evolution.
Then kick back, relax, and enjoy the show.
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