Preferred pronoun?
That was a new one to me!
Language is a powerful, although imprecise, method for
shaping how we think.
Apparently plural pronouns can be used in the singular. They, them, theirs; for example, Leslie ate
their food because they were hungry. Really? That doesn’t sound quite right to me.
However, recently, new pronouns have come into use such as ze,
and hir; for example, Leslie ate hir food because ze was hungry.
Ze is pronounced like "zee" can also be spelled
zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they. Hir
is pronounced like "here" and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs.
We will see what happens with time. Language does change, Ms replaced Miss and
Mrs, over time.
Many people are uncomfortable with sexual ambiguity. There was this old study of babies dressed in
yellow, that is, not dressed in blue or pink to clearly indicate their gender. Adults who did not know the babies were studied
as they were asked to play with these infants dressed in yellow. Invariably these adults would try to peek at
the infant’s genitalia to try to identify their gender. Presumably so they could interact with them
in a “gender appropriate” manner.
I have noticed that the younger generations are much more
comfortable with friends of various genders and sexual orientations, perhaps much
more comfortable than most in my generation.
As a physician, and ersatz philosopher, I have had a
long-term interest in the question of “Who am I?” This phrase can also be used as a subject of
deep meditation.
This question merges into important questions regarding
self-descriptions of being heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, transgendered
within both physical and mental states of being.
Most of us have read about the past horrors of too early
surgical sex assignment for children with anomalous genitalia, or even a
botched circumcision, most often mentally male children surgically made female,
and then brought up as female. Then as
the child goes through puberty, if not much earlier, the strong realization for
the child arises that they are clearly male.
Thanks to more current thinking, these cases are much less likely to occur.
A young patient recently told a colleague in clinic that
they were “pan-sexual.” Now that leaves
a lot to the imagination. Some of the
other adjectives coming into use include, “bi-curious,” “heteroflexible,”
“polyamorous,” and even more non-descript “wiggly.”
The vast majority of us firmly self-identify as male or
female, and as heterosexual. Current
data is quite poor but estimates that about 3% of the population identifies as
other than heterosexual, but this rises to as much as 15% in larger cities such
as San Francisco. I don’t know what the
population data is on being transgendered.
If language shapes how we think, will these figures change
over time? Perhaps not such as bad
thing, as Woody Allen said about bisexuality, it instantly doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night.
Interestingly, there is an undercurrent of androgyny that
exists within spiritual traditions.
Celibacy itself leans towards androgyny. The Shaman within several cultures have been
described as being androgynous. Similar
stories are told within Zen Buddhism.
Within the Hindu mystic tradition Ramakrishna also known as
The Great Swan lived as a woman for a while.
This could be a chicken and egg hypothesis, where an
individual with a tendency toward androgyny, or homo-or bi-sexuality would
perhaps find themselves pulled, or pushed, toward Shamanism or spiritual
practice within their society.
Additionally, deep spiritual practices may lead someone
towards more androgyny as they explore the unconscious shadows which include
the opposite gender.
Interesting topics to contemplate, gender identity and
sexual orientation, and relationship to preferred pronouns.
More on anima and animus, our hidden inner opposite genders,
in the future.
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